14 Comments
May 17Liked by Russell Nohelty, Lee Savino

Love this. The bit about the amygdala not having a threat-evaluation spectrum was super helpful.

Like Russell, I know the irrational paralysis of fear, but for me at least it's not a fear of failure so much as it is a fear of futility. Like, this trilogy I have put so much heart and soul into, so many hours/months/years of work, will just vanish in the mist of meaninglessness. So yes, fear of failure, but also fear that I won't learn anything from it, it will change nothing, it will be a futile waste of life.

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Lee and I just finished writing a comic for a book she wrote in 2015, and it's still paying dividends. I wrote Katrina Hates the Dead in 2011, and I'm still talking about it right now. The first books were written in 2017, and here I am, in 2024, still launching them and working on them. None of them blew the world away at the time of release, but I just kept doing things with them, and giving myself opportunities. Lots of my books don't do anything and nobody reads them ever, but the more effort I put into a thing, the more success it generally has, but only once I actually release them. You are currently churning potential energy, and it's swirling, causing you to spiral. I think you need to take that potential nervous energy and turn it into kinetic energy, because usually, in almost every case, doing things is the cure for worrying about things.

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But if we love doing it, is it a waste? Could life just be doing interesting things because we like doing them, and the journey is the point, not the destination? I keep reading Elizabeth Gilbert's big magic because it preaches this worldview and I like it.

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Oh, absolutely true! My prefrontal cortex (and, I imagine, most of the rest of my brain capable of opinions on such things) agrees with you. But my little lizard brain, curled up in the dark recesses of my skull, is unconvinced. It fears futility even more than failure. One can learn from failures, it grudgingly acknowledges, but futility feels like an existential threat to that scaly cynic.

My takeaway was the bit about "smart-brain is doing things and we are not dying = these things are probably okay and will not kill us" vs "smart-brain is avoiding something = it will probably kill us. Got it. Avoidance systems, ACTIVATE."

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May 18Liked by Lee Savino

It is sometimes disappointing to read the how and why of writing a book when you have read them previously.

For me it's takes some of the mystery away .

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I'm sorry hearing the story of the books take the mystery away, but I'm not going to stop doing it.

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May 18Liked by Lee Savino, Russell Nohelty

Hope you never stop doing it.

That is my view but will never stop me reading books - if anything it amazes me how writers come up with their stories

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Awww man, I love hearing how writers write! It still is a black box, though. Stephen king talks about the magic inherent to writing in his book On writing and it's my favorite.

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May 18Liked by Lee Savino

I can understand that and you are right it is magic. I did say it was only my view but perhaps should have said to a small degree. I am in awe of anyone who can sit, or stand, and write words that transform into a story or an article and present it to the world to be read.

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it is hard to quantify, other than I feel like when I fill myself up with words by reading, writing comes from the overflow.

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May 18Liked by Lee Savino

I think I understand that

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Jun 17Liked by Russell Nohelty

Cycling. Yep. That's exactly how it goes. I'm glad you're both here.

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Jun 10Liked by Russell Nohelty

I appreciate your candor about depression and mental health in this episode. Hearing it discussed, and not truncated to a "rough patch"--as many of us do--along with short-circuiting the spiral is actually helpful. Thank you!

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Glad it resonated with you :)

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